M's stump speech (rehearsed meticulously, reading out of the corner of her eye, as she remembered to face her audience):
Everyone must eat ice-cream because its tasty. I will let everybody come in peace. People should eat good foods and they should be good. You should make me the president and everyday you must say the pledge of alliegence(sic).
Not long after, she brought up a 'ballot' : "Will you vote for me or S?" she asked, pencil hovering at the ready to mark my response.
"I need to listen to S's speech before I decide who I'm voting for."
S promptly came up with his counter manifesto:
If I were president, I would make computer playing time mandetory. (for 2 hrs per day) I would ban and order a boycott of Eddy's and Kirkland Ice Cream! I would make scientists look for a way to make junkfood healthy and veggies hard to grow.
Happy voting and dessert time!