Lalita (in an approximation of a mid-Western accent): Good morning, am I speaking to Sujatha (pretends to struggle with last name)?
Me (wearily): Yes, this is she.
Lalita: this is Lisa with ABC communications. How are you today ma'am? I would like to talk to you about an offer for...
Me: Thanks for calling, but I really don't have time for this stuff. Please put my name on your do not call list. Bye
Click (as she burbles on.)
Me (wrong, ancient phone without caller id here): Hello
Senthil Kumar: May I speak with Mr or Mrs. ( perfectly pronounced last name) please?
Me: Yes, this is she.
Senthil: (switching to Tamil): Madam, I am Senthil Kumar with XYZ communications company. I would like to talk to you about an offer for reduced rates for India calls, madam.
Me (switching to Tamil): But we are already customers, shouldn't we be automatically getting the new rate?
Senthil (sounds faintly deflated): Yes madam, but the new rate is 3.29 cents a minute for India calls now.
Me: OK, will check online and see if we are getting it. Thanks, bye.
Senthil: But, but madam, there's another offer. (as phone descends on downward trajectory)