Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Make Way for the Philinator

If the PETA had its way, and Punxsutawney Phil were replaced by an electronic groundhog, that is.
In a letter pleading the case, they write:
"I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more
than 2 million members and supporters worldwide. We would like to present you with an
exciting, innovative proposal—one that would benefit both Punxsutawney and Punxsutawney
Phil. Please review the following information and then make the compassionate decision to use an animatronic Phil and retire the live groundhogs who are used for Groundhog Day activities to a sanctuary."

I have a better idea. Why not retire Phil and replace him with Jalapeno Joe, who would be glad to understudy him for a couple of bags of jalapeno chips. Here's an audition photo of the prospective candidate: As you can see, he's a fine specimen, not unworthy of the mantle.

My guess is that the PETA has the Zhu-zhu Hamster pets in mind. The reasoning goes thusly- if we can have robotic hamsters, why not replace the February 2nd show of Punxsutawney Phil with the Philimpersonator.

Although, given the current technologies, something like this CMU version might scare away the hordes of cheering tourists, unless they manage to fit it with a souped up Zhu-zhu pet skin of sorts.


Lekhni said...

I hope Greenpeace opposes this idea on the grounds that animals are more eco-friendly than robots :)

Sujatha said...

Actually, PETA shouldn't be inflicting these kinds of things on robots either (The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Robots will be around in a jiffy to counteract their insidious suggestions.)
I would suggest something along the lines of:
"Dear PETA person,

How about you putting on a plush Groundhog mascot suit and showing up to do the honors on Feb 2 instead of Phil? Not only would it prevent cruelty to groundhogs, but to robots/animatrons as well.

Sincerely, etc.etc."

Lekhni said...

But what about prevention of cruelty to us? Do we really have to see a 6 ft tall upright groundhog prancing around? It'd be a sight to scare the children..

Sujatha said...

Adults might be more terrified than the kids. "There but for the grace of God go I..." etc. if one ever got laid off from our white-collar jobs and had to wear those horrendous costumes.
Kids on the other hand, love the huge plush things, at least between the ages of 2 -8. After that, costumed characters are passe.